ZAP! -- a computer that can make people do anything you want them to and a time machine to the future and past -- is discovered by 9-year-old Zachary McGuire.

Join Zach on the journey of a lifetime where he will do the silliest and craziest things you can imagine! When Zach gets stuck in the future and has only has a small window of time to escape, will he be destroyed by the people of the future or will he manage to escape to tell the tale?

CHAPTER ONE

Meet the McGuires

Hi, my name is Zachary McGuire. I am 9 years old. I love trucks and cars and motorcycles and trains and boats and bikes and skateboards and roller skates and ice skates and airplanes and subways and a lot more. My mom told me today that I am obsessed with transportation. I asked her what transpertion is. She laughed at me and said not, “transpertion” silly, I said, “transportation.” She told me that transportation is the way of getting around. “For instance,” she said in a very serious voice, “You take a boat to get from one side of a body of water to the other or you take a car to go from one place to another. These are all types of transportation.” I just nodded and then went on my way.

I thought I would just put that out there for anyone who doesn’t know what transpertion is – I mean transportation. Anyway, I’m getting off track. So, I was telling you what I like. I also play ice hockey, soccer and baseball. I’d rather play checkers or battleship because in that game I don’t have to wear a cup. My dad makes me play because he says, “You need to get in shape fat boy.”

Just so you know, I am not fat. I figured it out. He just wants me to think I’m fat, so I’ll be embarrassed and want to play a sport that will make me lose weight. I think the real reason he wants me to play is for his entertainment.

One time in hockey I was actually passed the puck! I wasn’t going to let my team down, so I did the impossible, for me at least, and scored… into the wrong goal. Do you know how humiliating that is? Everyone was laughing. I couldn’t believe it!

Then one time in soccer I was goalie during a game and my team is great, so the ball was staying on the other side of the field. I decided to swing on the net and accidentally got my feet stuck in it. It was so embarrassing, and I was afraid that my team would see me. I was able to get out, but that was terrible!

So, I’ve told you what’s happened in ice hockey and soccer, but I’m, pretty sure you don’t want to know what happened in baseball. Okay, I’ll tell you. I was up to bat and I was so scared that I almost peed my pants. I was the last one who could make the game a tie. I was really nervous. When the ball came, for some reason I threw my bat backwards and hit the umpire and made him unconscious! My coach called 911 and got the umpire to the hospital. Of course, my team was mad at me, but my parents were furious because they got the bill for the surgery on his broken nose. As a result, I got kicked off the team. We ended up moving so I could go on another team. So here we are today in Piggott, Arkansas.

Enough about me…let me tell you about my family. Honestly, my family ignores me, and I get mad at them for that. I have a mom, dad, sister and a chocolate Lab named Chocolate. She’s the only one nice to me. But let me tell you about my mom. My mom’s name is Bree. When I am mad at her, I call her “Swiss.” No seriously. I thought she was named after the cheese. Yeah, I know they’re spelled differently, but I don’t care.

My mom is tall with blonde hair and green eyes. She is a former smoker, so her voice is raspy. My mom is all right for the most part. She kind of thinks I am a liar. In a way I can understand that. One time I told her that I took a shower, when I really went outside and swam in our pool. She smelled my clothes. My lie was exposed. I smelled like chlorine. That was one time. Ever since then I’ve been honest. Now-a-days she says “sure” when I tell her something, she is not positive about.

My mom works as a real estate agent showing people houses and apartments. She is really busy all the time. I feel like she has a lot of time for work but barely anytime for me! My mom is always nice to my sister, who I will tell you about in a minute, but never nice to me! It makes me so angry!

Mom also likes to dance. She tap dances in the spring, does hip hop in the summer, jazz in the fall and ballet in the winter. She used to be a professional dancer until she had me. After she had me, she was not able to keep up with everyone else, so she quit and went into the real estate business. I think that’s the reason she doesn’t like me, but how am I supposed to know? I’m only 9 years old.

I think that my mom is an alien. One time I went in the bathroom while she was taking a shower. I could see this dark shadow on the shower curtain and I’m telling you that the shape I saw was none other than an alien! Another time I heard her whispering. It sounded like this, shhhh he haw ke kah ufo shhhh fe. I think she was talking in Martian. I wonder what she said. Maybe she was saying, “Hello Martian friends, steal doughnuts they are delicious down here. Please come and take them.” Or maybe she said, “Please come and eat my son’s homework. He’s so smart that he doesn’t need homework. If you can only eat one, eat his math. Thank you!”

I have a weird mom and an okay dad. My dad is great when he’s not working. That’s not often. My dad is a commercial pilot. He flies all over the country. There are pros and cons to it. It’s awesome to get post cards from all over the country. He always gets a souvenir for me. I probably have 1,000 t-shirts and postcards. Most of the time it’s just a t-shirt but once in a while he’ll get me something extra special. It’s also great because on Bring Your Kid To Work Day, I get to help him. I get to say, “Hello this is your captain speaking. Thank you so much for flying with us. We have reached our destination where local time is 4:45 p.m. Thank you so much and see you soon!” That’s my favorite part of the day!

The bad part about it is I barely get to see him. He misses a ton of special occasions. He’s missed four of my birthdays, five Christmases and seven school plays. It was terrible! We can FaceTime, but it’s not the same. I really miss him when he’s gone.

One time he took me fishing on his kayak and we had a blast. It was tight, but we managed. The fish in the lake are so small there, but it is a lot of fun. Out of nowhere, I felt this big tug and next thing you know I almost fell into the dark, cold, water. I screamed for my dad and he was trying to help me too, but it was so hard. This sea creature was so tough that both me and my dad fell into the lake! Our bait fell out of the kayak and so did all of our equipment, so my dad turned our kayak over and put me into it. Then he tried to get our stuff as soon as possible. He spotted my rod and somehow my fish was still on the hook. I was able to reel it in and save it. My dad took my picture with it and that night we ate our fish dinner. It was the best fish I’ve ever tasted!

I think of that almost every day. I really miss him, but I also get mad at him. If he didn’t have this job, everything would be better. My mom ignores me and so does my dad. I feel as if I don’t have much for parents. That’s why I love trans-por-ta-tion so much. I can, in my mind, pretend to go anywhere I want. I think it would be so, so, so cool to travel to the future, but for right now taking a boat across the Atlantic would be great! I don’t want to take a plane because I hear about that enough, but maybe I’ll be the first to go to Mars.

Anyway, my dad is better than my mom, so I guess I am grateful, but there is one person that I am not grateful for at all, and that is my sister.

My sister Samantha is 16 and crazy. She is always very mean to me. I think that she is nasty because she had mom and dad all to herself until I came along. She decided that she doesn’t like me, so she has a boyfriend. He’s really weird, like her.

They are both nasty to me and play tricks on me. One time, I had a tooth pulled out under anesthesia because I was so young. In the car I was saying crazy things and she video taped it and asked me embarrassing questions like, “Do you still suck your thumb?” “Do you like Rachel?” (A girl from school who I do not like at all!) “When we get home, would you like to play with your unicorns and fairy princesses?”

Because I was out of it, I said “yes” to every question and so she uploaded it to her YouTube channel but never published it. Every time we argue or I’m “being mean” to her she threatens to publish the video. I’m in a hard situation.

It’s amazing. She’s beautiful like a monarch butterfly on the outside, but on the inside she’s like the Grinch. She’s tall and skinny, has my dad’s brown hair and my mom’s brown eyes. Samantha is a faker. She wears nice shirts when she is around my parents, but when she’s not, she wears belly shirts and lots of earrings. Don’t ask me, but somehow she wears all those earrings. How did my parents not notice the holes in her ears? I think either everyone is blind or maybe she wears fake earrings. No, I know what it is! She’s an alien too! I knew it! Mother like daughter or is it the other way around, daughter like mother? I don’t know. All these likes are making me confused! You know what’s interesting? If you listen into people’s conversations you’ll hear “like” after almost every word. See I just did it, like this… “Hey Joe, like how are you like doing? Like I’m fine Sam. Like how are you doing today? Like great. Like isn’t the weather like awesome? Like totally. Like there hasn’t been rain in like over a week.” See what I mean!

Anyway, getting back on track, my sister is so nasty, but she acts all sweet when she is around my parents. What a faker! You know, she’s never played a game with me, never picked me up when I’ve fallen down, never put a bandage on my cut, and never is there to comfort me when I cry.

So, there you have it…this is the McGuire family!

Alexis Fischer is a full-time online high school student and part-time college student currently enrolled in Texas A&M’s Vet Tech Certification Course. Alexis is an aspiring veterinarian, and as a result has two dogs, two cats, and a rabbit.

In addition to writing, she enjoys studying, photography, and soccer.  Alexis is also very active in politics and her church. She hopes that through her gift of writing, she will inspire others to get closer to Christ. Alexis looks forward to seeing what God has planned for the future ahead!